PHP: Where's the Love?

I want to learn how to make WordPress themes. One of the funny things about WordPress is, it uses PHP. I'm not sure what for exactly at the moment. But here's the funnier thing.

There's no PHP tutorial on EDX, Udacity, and Coursera. Codeacademy has a small one at 4 hours. YouTube has comparable results. I can't check Khan Academy right now because my internet is broken, but I'd wager the results are similar.

As a noob, this puzzles you, and nothing online tells you what's up. Actually, there are a ton of things online that tell you what's up, but as a noob, you don't have the requisite knowledge and vocabulary to search those things up. But, I'm lucky, I have a few helpful programmer friends. They are often far too busy or much too exhausted by the end of the day to help, but sometimes they answer a few questions.

One of them sent me a post detailing why PHP is so unloved. Excerpt:

Virtually every feature in PHP is broken somehow. The language, the framework, the ecosystem, are all just bad. And I can’t even point out any single damning thing, because the damage is so systemic.


I don't want to get into why PHP is bad because I don't know and it's not the point I'm trying to make anyway. Read the post for the details.

My point is, ideally, noobs shouldn't go it alone. Noobs have to try and make friends with experts, and daunting as it is, especially for those who are scared of sunlight, it can be very, very helpful. Of course, experts don't make it easy. Too many of them scoff and make inappropriate remarks. But there are nice ones. Unfortunately, it takes some work to find them.

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